Hangin with PG

Got a call from the assisted living last night...did you all have a nice visit with PG? They said that she was yelling to them to help her with the grandkids.

Boobies

I have a dilemma...

I'll start from the beginning. PG had gotten so confused at one point this year and one of the results was that when she wore her bra (padded), it was coming out the top of her blouse because her boobs weren't in the cups--they were just swinging low. It was kinda funny at the doctor's office when I noticed it and I was trying to stuff her boobs back in the bra before the doctor noticed. Anyway, when she was in the nursing home a couple of months ago after her hip surgery, the occupational therapist told me that it's much easier for elderly or disabled people to pull on a sports bra than a traditional bra. What a great idea and it makes so much sense--no hooks to mess with and no cups to deal with. So I bought her a whole bunch of sports bras and she's been wearing them. Here recently, however, she has been mentally much clearer, and "tries" to put on make-up and is more concerned about her appearance. She is asking if I still have her old bras (no, I gave them to DI), and she wants them because they make her "look better". She has VERY limited use of her left hand, and it would be so hard for her to work the hooks, but I'm sure an aide would help her. So, I have gone out an bought a couple of new bras, but I haven't given them to her yet. I keep having flash backs to this summer when her bra kept coming up out of her blouse--it happened all the time. But I guess no one will really notice in the alzheimer's unit, so what the heck.

I know! I'll have SSIL take them to her and she can tell him what a good shopper he is--problem solved.

So Far So Good

For the past two weeks or so, Pink G has been doing pretty well mentally. Well, except that the wall sucked the TV remote control out of her hand and slammed it against the wall and broke it:)

She's actually been putting on make-up lately. She's still receiving physical therapy. She will probably not walk much again, but as the physical therapist explains, she has gotten a lot stronger and if she didn't get physical therapy, she'd just be laying in bed wasting away.

I hope she doesn't stink too bad:)

Just a quickie blog...the assisted living called and left a message on our answering machine today to say that PG was refusing to take a shower today, and after a lot of discussion, she has consented to showering tomorrow. I'm sure they're letting us know that they tried just in case we go visit and she stinks--hehehehe. I wish all their calls were this easy!

We've been home from a nice vacation for a week now. So, I thought I'd update my PG blog. I was contacted (by cell phone) only twice while we were on vaca that the aides at the assisted living found PG on the floor--no major injuries thankfully. We got home and went right over to visit her...as soon as I walked into her room, I noticed a huge box in her closet and asked her about it. "I'm using it to pack my things in, I'm moving."
Me: You are?
PG: Yes, I'm moving. Everyone here is moving.
Me: They are, where are they going?
PG: They have boxes out and they're packing.
SSIL goes out into the dining area, looks around, and comes back and says--"they 're putting up Halloween decorations, but no one is moving."
Me: Mom, why do you think you're moving?
PG: Well, aren't I?
Me: Don't you think that I would tell you if you were moving?
PG: Yes, I guess you would. I don't know how I got that idea in my head...
So, SSIL gets rid of the huge box. Then (after visiting for a while) I asked her if she'd like to wear her glasses so that she can see the TV better. I opened her eye glass case to find her glasses missing a lens and an ear piece and all torqued. Before I could say anything, she blurts out, "I didn't do it!" "Someone else must have broke them, they've been having parties in here, and you know how everyone makes such a big deal about my glasses. I think someone wants to steal them."
OohhKayyyyyy.
So we start looking all over her room for the other lens and ear piece. These glasses were only bought in May and were kinda expensive, and I'm thinking that if we can find the other lens, Lenscrafters would probably replace the frames for free. They're very cute--purple metal frames with tiny rhinestones. They look really nice with her white hair and she does get lots of compliments about them. SSIL looks in all the dresser drawers while I'm looking under the bed, in the closet. We look for about 30 minutes and I'm beginning to think that maybe they got lost in the laundry and are long gone. But then I look in a basket of yarn (PG use to crochet) on the floor next to the bed and find an ear piece. I got all excited and kept looking and found the lens. Yay! SSIL and I are thinking that maybe she fell and they broke cuz PG has a new scab on her face near her eye.
Anyway, Lenscrafter is replacing the frames and PG should have her glasses back in a week. PG is also glad that she doesn't have to move:)

Happy 80th Birthday Pink G!

On Oct 1st, PG turned 80 years old. Wow 80 years. It's really too bad that we live so far away from our family. It would have been fun to have everyone see PG on her birthday...except that (have I mentioned?) she's Jehovah's Witness (JW). JWs don't celebrate birthdays...So, while I was at work, I called SSIL and asked him to take PG a bouquet of flowers in the morning to wish her a happy birthday. PG is more with it in the early part of the day. So he did and after I got home from work, we went to visit her again. It was about 5:30 pm and we walk into her room and I say, "Hi mom, how are you doing? Happy Birthday, today is your birthday." She replies, "So that's why you're here." As if I never come to visit. Then, we sit and try to visit, but she's laying on the bed and keeps falling asleep while we're there. Thankfully, my brother calls while we're there (I was running out of things to say), and wishes her a happy BD. We stay about another 1/2 hour after his call and go home. What a way to spend a birthday. We can't even bring her to our house, she's not suppose to bare weight on her leg from the surgery--seeing her lay there, I realize it doesn't matter anyway. She really doesn't want to do anything. We tried to get her to go listen to a guy who came to entertain the residents by playing the piano and organ--she wouldn't go. The aides told me that they tried to get her to go before we got there. Oct 1st was just like any other old day.

Overcoming the System

With a lot of effort, I got PG back to her home at the assisted living facility. A week ago Friday I talked to the physical therapist (PT) and occupational therapist (OT) at the rehab where PG was recouperating...I wanted to know if they thought she was improving. The PT said that it would take months for PG to get better, but then I explained that how she's doing now physically and mentally is exactly what she was doing before she injured herself. Then, the PT said that if that was the case, then she'll probably never walk again. So, I said--I'm aware of that possibility, so can she go back to assisted living and continue PT and OT with a home health company? And they agreed that would be ok. I hurried and contacted the nurse at the assisted living and told her the plan. Monday the assisted living nurse contacted the rehab social worker for the discharge paper work, med record, etc and he said he'd fax it, and that PG could be discharged on Tuesday after seeing their house doctor. I contacted the social worker to find out the time the doc would see PG, and found out that the visit would be somewhere around noon. So I asked SSIL to be with PG so that she wouldn't say something outrageous to the doc and blow the discharge. Thank goodness, SSIL was there, because 3 hours went by and no doc. He called me to say that he asked the nurse where the doc was and was told he'd already left and she didn't even know that PG was suppose to be seen or discharged!!!! Then, I called the social worker and the nurse apparently had asked him what was going on before I could call (which was only a matter of minutes). He was apoligizing and saying that he called the doc to come back and discharge PG and he'd taken care of the paperwork and she could still leave that day. By this time, SSIL had already headed for home, and I called him and asked him to go back and calm PG down (cuz I knew she would be stressed out--SSIL should have never left), and that I'd be right there to take her home. When I got there, I had a nice surprise because my son was there also, so we loaded up all PG's stuff and all the aides and nurses said good-bye to PG and we got her back to her apartment----finally.

Except, things never seem to be easy or go smoothly, the assisted living nurse calls me the next day and says that the rehab social worker never sent the med record and PG was not getting her meds. I'm sick of this idiot! So, to work around him, I contact her neurologist's office and ask them to send new prescriptions so that the assisted living pharmacy can get her meds going again. They say that the physician's assistant will take care of it. Two days later, the assisted living med tech tells me again that they haven't received her meds yet from the neurologist. Is everybody incompetent or am I expecting too much for people to do what they say they're going to do?????? So, I don't work on Fridays and I left the house at 9 am on a mission to get some prescriptions from someone! I'm about to head to the neurologist's office and then it occured to me that the small family practice office down the street (where I've taken PG to get x-rayed) has a copy of her meds and they're nice and would probably write her prescriptions for me. (I was so mad at the neurologist's office that I also thought it would be good them too for me not to go to their office:o) Thankfully, the little office down the street did write the scripts for me. That office is so convenient and unfortunately it's closing because the parent company that owns that clinic doesn't think it's bringing in enough customers to make it worth while. So I'll have to find PG another new primary care doctor (she's had a couple)...

So, I got the med thing settled and I figure that I'll go visit PG. I walk in her room and say "HI" and she asks if SSIL is with me! At least she's reliable:)

I dread it when I hear my cell phone ring

I dread it when I hear my cell phone ring, cuz it seems like it's always the nursing home calling about PG!!!

Sunday they called to say that she fell out of bed. So I made a sign, "MOM, STAY IN BED. PUSH THE BUTTON FOR HELP" and I hung it on the wall where she would see it every day. HAAAAAAAAA.

Monday at work, they called me to say that she fell out of her wheelchair reaching for a magazine. We go visit her and try to talk to her about being safe. It's honestly harder than talking to a toddler...you can reason with a toddler...

Tuesday as I'm getting into my car to go home from work, they call to say that PG is extremely upset, mad, and yelling. She was given a shower and now she's yelling at the CNA that her hair is not finished...they are calling to ask if I know what they can do to calm her down---WOW. All I can do is apologize to them and say "I don't know what she wants, and we're on our way." They try to assure me that I don't need to come over, that they're happy to do whatever they can to calm her down, but they don't know how to help her. I couldn't think of anything to tell them, except that her behavior is not normal for her. I quickly call SSIL and tell him to head over there cuz he is closer than I am--which he does. I arrive and PG is raving about her hair being messy and she can't find her makeup or her mirror, blah, blah, blah... She hasn't worn makeup in months.

Her hair actually looks quite cute. Her hair lays very nicely even without being curled. So, anyway I try to tell her she looks fine, and she tells me not to lie:o The CNA comes to take PG to the dining room for dinner and PG yells that she "can't go looking like this!" Then I find a brush and brush her hair just trying to apease her. Her CNA talks to me in the hall and tells me that if I bring her makeup, nail polish, lotion, etc that she'd be happy to fix PG up with all the cosmetics, etc which I thought was really nice.

PG finally allows two CNAs to take her to dinner.

Today, we arrive at 8:30 am to take her to a doctor appt. She tells me that she's mad that she got "reported for falling." She hates it that the nursing home calls us whenever she falls, but they have to notify us. So anyway, the neurologist is going to try a brand new medication for Parkinson's Disease. It'll probably help her Parkinson's symptoms, but I doubt it helps her dementia. Any who, I'll end for now...I have to go charge the battery of my cell phone so I don't miss any calls:)

Pink Grandma looks a little frazzled.

Well, she's been at the nursing home for 24 hours and so far, so good. We shopped again this morning and after 3 stores I found some velcro tennis shoes. While we (SSIL and I) were trying to find the shoes, we found some velcro tennies shoes in Men's but not Women's. So SSIL got bored and went shopping around in a different department of the store. I wasn't giving up though--if they had men's velcro shoes, then women's must be somewhere. Well, way up high on a shelf (Walmart) was a pair mixed in with other women's athletic shoes. You know how they put one shoe on display so that you know what's in the box? Well, this shoe was not on display anywhere. So, hurray, I found some and only $10!! I bought some socks also and then we headed to the nursing home. We brought all the stuff we bought last night and the new shoes over to PG. SSIL pulls out the shoes to show PG and starts putting them on her feet. She is gushing over them and asks if he got a "bargin". He replies, "Of course, you know I always shop the sales. They were only $10." PG says, "I know you're a sales shopper just like me." I just roll my eyes to myself and laugh. What would she do without her super son-in-law:)

She looked uncomfortable laying in bed, but she said that she wasn't in pain. I think she's just a little disoriented. She asked if John (the administrator at the assisted living facility where she lives) has given away her room yet. And we try to console her and tell her that her room is waiting for her to get better and return to it.

I kind of think that she really doesn't care where she lives at this point. She really liked her stay at the hospital where she had surgery, and when the case manager was arranging her rehab care asking us which nursing home would we like PG to go to--PG piped in that it didn't really matter, she'd stay anywhere. Although she did express some concern last night that she'd have to get to know new people again at this new place. But we try to help her understand that she will be going back to her home. She doesn't remember things very well from one day to the next.

While out at occupational therapy today, she did notice that this nursing home has a Wii, so she was excited (a little). I hope she gets to play soon!

Well...

Well, today is Friday...so let me fill you in on the week we had.

Like I said last time, I was gonna take PG to the doc on Monday cuz I thought her hip may be broken, and BINGO, it was. So now her difficulty walking makes sense; however, I feel like a spaz that it took me so long to figure it out (however, none of the multiple doctors or nurses or physical therapists figured it out at all) so I'm not a total retard. So, we took her to see her orthopedic surgeon on Tuesday...sideline for a moment...while taking PG to the doctor, we wheeled her to the car in her wheelchair (I put her in the car all the time and didn't think it would be a big deal for SSIL to help her into the car)...so I go to take the wheelchair back to her apartment and leave SSIL to get PG into the car. I return (about 5 min) to find SSIL holding up PG and she's hanging onto the door dangling there and the two of them are stuck in that position:) So I get in the car from the other side and pull her inside...SSIL is now exhausted and we haven't even gotten out of the parking lot...anyway...the surgeon put her on the end of the surgery schedule on Tuesday night. He gave us three choices:
1. Leave the hip the way it is, keep her pain-free, she is bed ridden, gets pneumonia, and dies...
2. He does a total hip replacement which is a big surgery and there's a lot of blood loss and she'll most likely need a blood transfusion...wait a minute...I inform the doc that she's JW....
3. So, that leaves us with option 3, stabilize the hip with screws. It's less invasive and she won't need blood. So #3 it is.

We take her over to the hospital and she gets admitted to a room. Hospital personnel are in and out, testing this and that...PG tells the EKG lady as she's leaving the room to "have a nice life." PG was actually quite funny the whole time, she was hallucinating (seeing motorcycles on the ceiling for example). Then finally about 5 hours later it's her turn for surgery. They take her to the OR and the anesthesiologist examines her and asks her some questions. She tells him, "They better hurry up and make me dead cuz I'm starting to hurt." (Which is the first time that she ever complained of hip pain.) The anesthesiologist asked her to open her mouth wide and PG said, "No, I don't want to do that." So, he said, "That's fine."

The surgery went well and PG spent the next 3 days in the hospital recovering. She saw people water skiing down the street in front of the hopsital. She saw a bear outside her window. The nurses gave her a newborn baby to take care of one night and PG said she kept it under the bed. She was stuck in the bed rails and her son (who was in a different state at the time) just sat there and watched her struggle and didn't help her get out. Her mind had a very busy hospital stay. But physically she is recovering nicely.

Today she was transferred to a rehabilitation center for physicial therapy. An occupational therapist was evaluating what PG could and couldn't do--like she couldn't unbutton the blouse she had on, but she could pull on a t-shirt over her head by herself--"activities of daily living"--stuff like that. And then she gets PG to bed and gives her the call button and asks PG, "If you need to use the bathroom, what would you do?" PG responds, "Do you want to know my secrets?" Man, that caught my attention:) I couldn't wait to hear what she was going to say! PG continues, "I use the pull-ups sometimes if I can get situated." (Translation: she keeps pull-ups in a plastic grocery bag and hangs from the head board of her bed. When she wets it, she pulls it off throws it under the bed and gets a new one from the plastic bag.) "Or, sometimes I crawl out of bed and find a newspaper..." (Translation: I'm shocked! I didn't know she did that. What I know from experience is that she goes in her waste basket.) Needless to say, I will send SSIL to her apartment while she's in rehab and have him clean the carpet!

So the therapist and I stressed to PG that she obsolutely must use the call button for any kind of help so that she doesn't get hurt. It's 10:30 pm and they haven't called me yet to say that they've found her on the floor so let's hope she's using the button.

We also went on a shopping spree at Wallymart today and bought PG some pull-on shirts and some stretchy pants and sports bras--the occupational therapist is going to teach her to dress herself with more convenient clothes. I gotta find some velcro tennis shoes tomorrow.

I'm now unwinding from the week with Season 4 of The Office DVD! Right off, it's working--I'm laughing out loud and it feels good--Michael hit Meridith with his car!!

Friday started out encouraging...

We stopped by to visit PG yesterday and was pleasantly surprised to see her bowling on the Wii with the other residents. She looked like her old self (except that she was in a wheelchair), and that was a great sight. We stayed and bowled a couple of games with the group. Definitely a hopeful day, until later Friday evening when an aide from the assisted living called to let me know that she found PG on the floor. She said that PG wasn't hurt and PG claimed that she was trying to get something out of her dresser. Then we discussed how PG intentionally slides off her bed and crawls around her room to do things instead of trying to walk (and possibly falling). What can we do? We can't stop her and she won't stop...

Then this morning the phone rings and it's an aide calling from the assisted living. She says that she's calling at PG's request and then puts PG on the phone. PG says, "My head is all screwed up." (Slience) "Well, I just thought you should know." Then I said, "We're coming over to see you right now."

We arrive and PG is laying on her bed and appears obviously distressed. She's all upset that she needs to have her laundry "gathered" for the aides to wash. (Her laundry is already in a laundry basket in her closet.) I go and find out that wash days are Sundays and Tuesdays--which satisfies her. Then, she wants money to tip the aides. I explain that tipping is against their policy and not allowed. She seems OK to have these items cleared up for her, but she's still distressed that she's so confused. So we visit with her for a while and try to console her. She says that she has been thinking, she wants everyone (her children and grandchildren) to move near the assisted living and then everything would be wonderful...she even tells me to give my son a house that we rent out.

I'm going to make a doctor appt on Monday, I want them to x-ray her hip to make sure nothing is wrong (she still acts like she has had a stroke--but she hasn't). Hopefully she'll have a better day tomorrow.

The next morning...

We checked on PG this morning to make sure that her fall last night didn't produce any other injuries that she couldn't tell us about last night. She was kinda confused, but after we got her changed and up in a chair, she seemed a little bit better (she was seeing birds in the room???). I changed the sheets on her bed, put her dentures in her mouth so that we could understand what she was saying, and brushed her hair, and put her glasses on her...hmmm, then she looked more like herself and not like an insane asylum patient. She had a bruise on one knee, but she seemed to be able to move everything ok (for her).

Then, she wanted to demonstrate to us how the physical therapist taught her to get from the wheelchair to her bed. Well, she essentially dove from the chair into the bed. I jumped closer and pulled her up into bed....MAN....SSIL just looked at me with shock on his face and said, "That's NOT how the physical therapist showed her how to get in bed."

Before we took her to the dining room for lunch, she asked me if I'd seen the pretty night gowns that SSIL bought her;o I said that I had and asked why isn't she wearing them instead of her old house dress? She said that they are so pretty that she doesn't want to mess them up! Aye-yi-yi!!

It had to happen sooner or later...

SSIL and I took the new commuter train into the city today to play for the day, and after a good day and just about ready to head back toward the train station, I get a call from an aide at PG's assisted living. PG has fallen and cut her hand--"It may need stitches, but I've got the bleeding stopped." So, I say that it'll take a while for us to get there, but we're on our way. We arrive at PG's room and she's sideways in the bed. I ask what she's doing and she looks kinda crazy. I check out her hand and it's just a skin tear--nothing to stitch--but some skin is missing. SSIL and I straighten her in bed, SSIL stays with her while I head to the store to get a special bandage that I think will be convenient for her...three stores later I finally find something close to what I want and return to put it on her hand. SSIL quietly tells me that she says that "the wall pulled her into it". He kinda laughed and said, "come on". She got mad at him (w-o-w) and kinda yelled at him, "you don't know!" So, I encouraged her to ask the aides for help for every little thing she needs and that the aides are just outside her room--not far away. She replies that they're having a party out there. She tells SSIL that I don't understand, that those girls don't come right away..."No duh!" We've been trying to teach her patience for almost two years now. Attention! All old farts out there in the world: No one will magically appear as soon as you push the button--it'll take a minute or two, so hold your pants on!!!!!!!

So after thinking about it for several hours now, I've informed SSIL that tomorrow we will buy some "pull-ups", and tell PG that if the aide takes too long, "go" in the pull-up (it's safer that the waste paper basket), and then when the aide arrives she can help her...it's better than falling and killing yourself!!

Looking on the bright side...PG has been back at the assisted living for 3 weeks now and this was the first phone call I've gotten.

I'm at a wedding reception Sat night and a nice couple ask me if my mom (Pink Grandma) is doing better this week. I respond that she's different each day, we never know who we're going to get, and then I ask "Why, what was she doing last week?" This nice couple visits the residents at the assisted living were Pink Grandma lives, and knows that Pink Grandma is my mother... The nice lady says that she walked into her room and saw Pink Grandma kneeling at her bed as if she was praying, but she wasn't praying, she was trying to put on some clothes. So the nice lady calls to the nursing assistant for help and they get Pink Grandma (PG) dressed. Pink Grandma responds, "They help me so much already that I hate to bother them."

So again, my acceptance of the situation is reinforced that if Pink Grandma gets hurt over and over that there's nothing I can do to prevent it, because I can't change/force her behavior. I'm so glad that my brother was here visiting when PG broke her wrist and we kept telling her to use the call button, but she kept falling because she wouldn't use it (trying to be self-reliant). I'm glad that he saw her behavior and reinforced to me that we can't do anything to change her...he's right, but I still felt like I should sleep in her room and get whatever she needs--he points out that I need to live my own life.

So my hubby (whom I'll refer to as Super-son-in-law or SSIL) and I visited PG yesterday and she wants to die because the physical therapy "isn't working". (She's had only three visits from the therapist and she's suppose to have about 18 visits.) She "expects" to be functioning normal by now. So dying is the only option. Well, we visited with her for a while, tried to explain how the therapy works (as in not instantaneously) and tried to just shoot the breeze. A few days earlier, SSIL had brought PG some new nightgowns that I had bought for her, and as we were leaving PG says how much she loves the nightgowns and that SSIL is wonderful and he should do all her shopping:) SSIL can do no wrong--as far as PG is concerned--PG "wouldn't know what to do without him". But I'm grateful that she loves him so much, it takes part of the burden from me in some way.

Now, I'm just going to give a little history of what happened to PG recently...she's had Parkinson's for almost 20 years, has been walking mostly without an aide, but sometimes uses a cane or walker (but mostly not, because she doesn't want people to see her with a cane or a walker). The folks at the assisted living have Wii bowling teams and PG is very good--she has the most turkeys--woohoo. After bowling league on June 17th she fell and broke her wrist badly. She needed surgery to correct it, but refused and actually was refusing a cast also, but I talked her into it. She took nail clippers to the first cast and clipped away the whole part around her hand. The second cast she just flat out pulled off after it was on for only two days (it went a little past her elbow--that would've been fun to watch). From the ER, they sent her to a nursing home that just about sent her over the edge. She was so confused and disoriented. She even thought she had "signed up for the program" and was frantic one morning when we walked in to visit. She wanted to know why no one would take her to get in line. I finally figure out that she thought she was going to be euthanized--and she wanted to be!! She finished out her sentence in a splint--I didn't have the heart to have her arm casted a third time. Ever since she broke her wrist, she hasn't been able to walk (CT of brain is normal). And she acts as if her left arm (the broken one) doesn't exist. The splint was removed three weeks ago!! And she returned to her assisted living facility two weeks ago. When the physical therapist has PG walk with a walker, she does quite well, but otherwise PG thinks that her legs don't work.

Well, I'll end for now. My assignment is to buy PG some "regular" panties--they're easier to pull up and down. The panties she has now are the kind that compress you so that you look skinnier and are more difficult to pull up and down--she's very much about her looks which is partly surprising to me that she doesn't have a stronger attitude about getting better. But I also know that she's probably tired of trying and I understand that too. I'll have to get some really "cute" grandma panties so that SSIL stays on the pedestal.

This is Pink Grandma with her newest great-grandchild in August 2008. You can see the bruise on her forehead (one of many all over her body) from falling down. She "doesn't want to bother" the nurses to help her; therefore, she falls down. At the time of this picture, she was in a nursing home recovering from a broken wrist which caused her to be unable to walk?????!!!!! She's now back at her home in an assisted living facility. I'll expand more about her injury later. I'm watching the Olympic's men's USA basketball team play Spain for the Gold:)

This is where I plan to share (or vent) our family's experiences with Parkinson's Disease. I would say our experiences with Pink Grandma, but she's not herself very much any more...Parkinson's Disease (PD) is stealing her from us.